we're blogging at a bar
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
