oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
