He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
