it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
