Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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