Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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