you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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