How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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