Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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