small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
