Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?