You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy