They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic