just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together