fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom