he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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