He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
