just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
