Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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