They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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