Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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