it's like iHOP with fire
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
