The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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