if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize