Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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