Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Farmville is her only friend.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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