Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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