you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
