And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
