I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
