ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize