Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
