He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
