OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
