i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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