make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize