I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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