Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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