Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.