I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.