Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend