I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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