Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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