Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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