I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
