I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
