I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
where are my eyebrows?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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