marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
how does that bad decision feel?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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