I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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