Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
