We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's blow job season.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
