I am spending my child support on dildos
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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