There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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