i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
