I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
