we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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