Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
