I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
