i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
