dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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