I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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