Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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