so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
